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Face to Face
Face to Face: Dexter and Rita's first time -1x08

Analyzing Dexter and Rita's Relationship
Dexter Morgan

Met Rita after his police sister, Debra, answered a domestic dispute call at Rita's house. She introduced him to Rita, and the two began dating. He sees Rita as a way to make himself appear normal. However, his attatchment to her and her children begins to surface, making him much more vulnerable and leaves him questioning his identity.
She's perfect

Abused by her ex-husband Paul for years, Rita didn't have a lot to hope for until she met Dexter. She views Dexter as the complete opposite of Paul. Her low self-esteem makes it difficult for her to stand up for herself, and she often over-looks Dexter's flaws in order to justify her relationship with him. Later on in the series, she begins to gain more confidence and starts to notice Dexter's suspicious behavior.
Dexter and Rita

  • Rita has refered to Dexter as "The Perfect

  • Dexter has often refered to Rita as "Perfect."

  • In the episode "Shrink Wrap" Dexter's therapist
tells Dexter that he has control issues. After sleeping
with Rita, he gives up control. As he kills Dr. Meridian
the song "Make Me Lose Control" By Eric Carman
begins to play.
Sex Before

Dexter appears to be "asexual" in the first episode. However, he later claims that his reason for not wanting to sleep with Rita is because of his fear that she'll see that he is "empty inside." Not because of his lack of sexual interest.
Sex Before

Rita is not technically "asexual." She seems to crave closeness and appears at times to be aroused against her will (see picture on the right). She is, however, sexually disfunctional. Because her ex-husband raped her for years, she is afraid of sex.
It's Incredible

  • In episode "Resistance is Futile" Dexter refers
to Rita as his light at the end of the tunnel. In the pilot
our first image is of Rita opening up the door with light pouring onto her face from outside even though
it's nighttime.
Sex After

Once Dexter and Rita finally achieve intimacy, the two seem to have a normal, healthy sex life, often showing Dexter spending the night over at her place. Their first time reveales that Dexter isn't as empty as he claims to be, and that he enjoys sex. It is also hinted that he didn't really enjoy sex with the other women in his past relationships.
Sex After

Rita is the first to display sexual agression in their realtionship, coming on to him (sometimes reluctantly)on more than one occasion. As her confidence grows, so does her sexual desire, and she soon lets Dexter know when she is really ready. After their first time, Rita shows signs of being comfortable in having sexual intercourse, even initiating the act from time to time.

  • Both Rita and Lila tell Dexter: "There's nothing
that you could do that would scare me away."

At the beginning of the first season, we are meant to believe that Dexter does not connect with anyone. And Rita is no exception - at first. Dexter does seem to enjoy his time with Rita as he states in episdoe: 1x02:

"Lately the thing that surprises me most about Rita is how much I like being with her."

Normally (and keep in mind that Dexter is not normal) humans enjoy being around people they feel somewhat of a connection with. Coming from Dexter, we can't take this to mean much, but it does mean something. At times, he seems to go above and beyond for their relationship in order for him to keep her in his life. Some suspect that Dexter feels connected to her due to their violent pasts.

Later on in the series Dexter claims that there are times when he: "feels connected to something, to someone." He does not elaborate, however, it is hinted that he is talking about Rita (and possibly her children) since the scene before shows him becoming emotional over her. - 2x03

Rita does appear to have a connection with Dexter. Or at least she thinks she does. At the start of their relationship, she often misinterprets his signals (e.g. mistakenly thinking that he is sexually
deprived) and is oblivious to his suspicious behavior.

Throughout the series, however, we begin to see a transition with Rita as she and Dexter start to share more of each other's lives. She becomes better at detecting when something is wrong, and she is able to catch inconsistencies in his excuses.

In the same episode "An Inconvenient Lie" in which Doakes calls Dexter a: "good liar," Rita sees right past him when he tells her he stayed for the entire NA meeting, informing him that he is a: "terrible liar." At the end of season 2, the two seem much more connected and honest with each other. (Except for that whole seriel killing thing.) Dexter actually tells her about his mother's murder, and Rita is the first (and presumed only) person to know about Harry's suicide.
Perfect Boyfriend

one of Julie Benz's favorite actors.

  • The relationship between Dexter and Rita has
often been refered as the "Light and Dark" or "Devil and
Angel" relationship.

  • Rita's character bears a striking resemblance
to Laura Moser, Dexter's mother. In "The Dark
Defender" Lila asks Dexter if he has an Oedipus
Complex. The Oedipus Complex is when a man
has an unconscious desire to have sex with his mother.
(Ew, ew, ew.)

  • The writers must have changed their minds on the
Oedipus Complex idea because in Season 2, Laura
Moser's hair was changed from blonde to brown, and
Rita's appearance becomes less and less motherly.

The one thing that is undeniable about Dexter is the protectiveness he feels for Rita and her kids. We first see this when Paul comes back into the picture, and Dexter immediately feels threatened.

Interestingly enough, the two times we see Dexter become violent on impulse is in regards to Rita. The first time is when Paul threatens her and calls her a "skinny *****." Dexter responds by taking a frying pan and hitting him in the head with it. The expression on his face tells us that he didn't expect ot react that way, and in his narration he states: "Harry's first rule was 'don't get emotionally involved.' I think this is why" Well, for a guy who claims to have no emotions, he certainly did. (Huh, I thought Harry's first rule was don't get caught)

The second time is when one of Dexter's victims - Roger Hicks - insults Rita as he's strapped to the death table. Dexter becomes so enraged that he kills him on the spot yelling: "DON'T. . .talk that way about my girlfriend." Again, by the look on his face, it is obvious that Dexter is surprised at his own emtional outburst, and the realization that Rita acutally means something to him is enough to make him go back to the NA meetings.

There are many examples of Dexter's protectiveness for Rita. In season 2 he says: "Before, I would have done anything to protect Rita." When Dexter finds out that Lila snuck into Rita's house, he ends the reltionship with a warning: "Stay away from Rita, stay away from me. Or you will meet the monster."

Rita is not as meek or as mild as one would think. When it comes to her loved ones, she can be quite the mama bear. With Dexter, she seems more protective of his reputation, insisting that he is not like Paul. She also tries to protect him by keeping him away from her serious problems, as we see when Paul's drug dealer comes by to collect his bill, she tells Dexter to not get involved.

When Paul and Paul's sponser, Bob, try to accuse Dexter of setting Paul up, she remains by Dexter's side. And she defends Dexter when her mother expresses her dislike for him.
I Insist

  • In episode 2x07, we see Lila lighting her apartment
on fire, dystroying everything. In episode 1x03, we see
Rita watering plants, giving them life.

  • Also, the one time Rita is seen lighting something
on fire is when she is lighting the candels on Astor's
birthday cake, a sign to celebrate life.

  • Lila often wears dark, bold colors, while Rita
wears bright, pastel colors.

  • The only time Dexter ever admits to having
regrets is when he loses Rita.

"I feel. . .such regret, which is rare for me. Not that I
don't mess up, I do, just never stupendiously. I had you,
and them (the kids) and I had us." - Dexter to Rita
  • This is a cool example the subtlety in Dexter's language. He says, "I had you" and not "I had us."Dexter cannot comprehend the idea of "us" the way Rita can. He values the "relationships he fosters" as objects he needs. Yet in perfect fashion, the resulting outward behavior is close enough to maintain the illusion of a caring partner (in part due to traits specific to Rita herself as she is the first woman not to leave him when the small talk is over).

  • Add Your Own Dexter/Rita Trivia!

Dexter and Rita fan videos
Perfectly Flawed
Dexter and Rita - Mystery
Beautiful Tribute
Leave out all the rest
The Last night
Long Night
Dexter/Lila/Rita- Bad Boyfriend - Mainly Dexter/Rita

Dexter and Rita - Season 3 Photos

Season 3 baby!
Life is Good
Dexter/Rita Chocolate

Latest page update: made by denkiva , Dec 1 2009, 12:22 PM EST (about this update About This Update denkiva Edited by denkiva

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